😣

golden-fidelity:

lovestoostrong:

||||    Send 😣 for my muse to walk in on your muse stuck on the floor because of depression or a panic attack    ||||

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“Hey Lis, I picked up some groceries to make dinner from scratch tonight.” Cisco said proudly, hanging his keys on the hook and setting the grocery bags on the counter. “Lis? You home hun?” He called out, walking around the apartment looking for his wife. He checked the baby monitor, and their son was fast asleep. He also checked all the rooms she’d typically be in, and poked his head in the bathroom for good measure, where he found his wife sitting on the floor. 

“Lis, there you are,” he smiled. That smile didn’t last long, however. When his wife didn’t react to him entering the room, his face dropped and he sat next to her. “How you doing, honey?” He asked just seconds before Lisa buried her head in his shoulder and began sobbing. “I got you,” he whispered, wrapping his arms around his wife.

Lisa wanted more than anything to be the best mother she could be. But no matter how much she loved her newborn son she couldn’t shake the feeling that she still wasn’t good enough. Once he was safely sound asleep Lisa could feel everything boiling up within her. She meant to take the monitor with her and set it on high volume but with her thoughts swimming in her head she didn’t notice she had left it behind. She goes into the bathroom, keeping the door open just a crack before turning to the sink running the cool water. After a few splashes of cold water on her face to cool her off she looks up at herself in the mirror. Lisa felt so much self hatred and she didn’t even know why.

 The longer she stared at her reflection the more angry she got at herself. She couldn’t take it anymore and punched the mirror she didn’t even feel the pain of the cuts on her knuckles. Lisa was more worried about if the noise woke up D.L. Quickly peaking her head out the doorway giving a sigh of relief when she didn’t hear him fussing. She walks backwards away from the door until her back is flush against the wall. Lisa slides down the wall until she is sitting on the floor hugging her knees to her chest. She didn’t even hear Cisco come into the room until he was sitting beside her. Letting her body nestle into Cisco and started to cry mumbling. “I just want him to be safe and loved, that’s all I want and I suck at this. I don’t want to be like the parents I had.”

“You are safe. You are always safe with me, and I will always love you, no matter what.” Cisco held his wife close and smoothed her hair. “You aren’t like your parents. You are already so much better than them. More loving and caring than they ever were. Our son is so lucky to have you as his mother.”