modern family sentence meme.

amademonster:

• _{‘"this crazy bitch just messed with the wrong crazy bitch.“}
• _{“aaaaaaah! i can’t even believe i’m talking to you right now!”}
• _{“you can’t just roll over on someone because it makes you uncomfortable!”}
• _{“you’re sweating like a heroin addict.”}
• _{“i want a white christmas. you know, like white people have.”}
• _{“i can’t wait to make a snow-person!”}
• _{“my options today are frat house, duck village, or car crash.”}
• _{“okay, woah, this is exactly how it started out when i found out my father wasn’t really in space.”}
• _{“where’s the little leprechaun?”}
• _{“all i wanted was to bribe my way into that school by making cubbies that stuff didn’t fall out of.”}
• _{“we’re like magnets, that sometimes take a break to date other magnets.”}
• _{“no, you’re not getting your hair straightened.”}
• _{“it would kill me if i thought that what i felt would hold you back from getting something that you wanted.”}
• _{“i wanna kiss you, but i have surgery breath.”}
• _{“oh my god, that burger was so good, i feel like i just cheated on you.”}
• _{“yeah, i heard the moaning.”}
• _{“i couldn’t be more relaxed if i was in a coma.”}
• _{“what are you constantly looking at on your computer?”}
• _{“you’ve never stolen anything before?”}
• _{“point is — a guy like me gets that lucky, he quits while he’s ahead.”}
• _{“you’re right, i’m sorry, your outfits perfect… if you’re applying to lumberjack school and majoring in having cats eat you when you die.”}
• _{“by the way, do not look up peeing games on the internet.”}
• _{“what have i said about sneaking up on me? i could’ve been shaving, this could’ve been a sweeney todd moment!”}
• _{“it’s gonna take more than that to ruin a morning that started out with a whipped cream smile on my waffle.”}
• _{“if it were easy, everyone would be hot.”}
• _{“there is a lot of pressure when one is a gay uncle. ”}
• _{“you do this every time. you go as a princess, i have to go as some freak. you’re a beauty, i’m the beast. you’re the beyonce, i’m… that guy.”}
• _{“i wanna hear your point but right now this magic juice is gonna help mama turn that bathtub into a swim up bar.”}
• _{“it’s a body spray called sex grenade, one of the divorced dad’s in the hotel recommended it.”}
• _{“with great hotness comes great responsibility.”}
• _{“we’re a family of fire starters, poison eaters and online prostitutes.”}
• _{“i didn’t mean for her to get hurt.”}
• _{“don’t cry, you’ll streak your bronzer.”}
• _{“i think i just broke a nail on a turtle.”}
• _{“you guys exhaust me.”}
• _{“you’re breaking my heart.”}
• _{“oh calm down, this can’t be the first time you’ve woken up with other men in your bedroom.”}
• _{“i don’t eat anything unless i know what’s in it.”}
• _{“this dipstick loves you too.”}