musingmemes:

domestic couple starters

• “you forgot to take the trash out again.”
• “do you think we should just order in tonight?”
• “what’s the point of making the bed if we’re just gonna mess it up?”
• “will you pick up your clothes? it’s like a pig-sty in here.”
• “you cooked, it’s only fair that i clean.”
  
• “i haven’t shaved in like a week.”
• “let me run you a bath.”
  
• “you used all the hot water.”
• “oh come on, i just cleaned the kitchen!”
• “can you stop using my bath bombs? they’re expensive.”
• “dinner was ready a half hour ago.”
• “you cooked me dinner?”
• “i had to carry you to bed last night, you were exhausted.”
• “do you even know how to load a dishwasher?”
• “your red sock turned all my whites pink.”
  
• “what’s with the hat? are you having a bad hair day?”
• “we’ve spent too much on pay per view this month.”
• “are you watching porn?”
• “next time it’s your turn to do the dishes.”
• “my parents are coming over for dinner tomorrow.”
• “play hooky and let’s sleep in tomorrow.”