Tom nodded at her statement, understanding that she had a process for things, and that was okay. “Gotcha, yeah. That makes sense.” As he saw tears come to her eyes, his hand moved to cover hers, and he hoped that it was a welcome touch on her end. “Hey. It’s okay. You did what you needed to do. You saved Lilah, and you needed to save yourself. I forgive you for what you did, and frankly, I’m glad you did what you did. ‘Cause without you, I think our world would be a much worse off place,” his words caught in his own throat as his emotions came to the surface.
“I won’t stop fighting, but I’ve learned to choose my battles,” Tom stated, pulling his hand back into his lap. “For what it’s worth, you matter a whole hell of a lot. You matter so, so, so much, Cara. I’m sure you’ve been through hell with all the supernatural creatures that you’ve encountered, but you need to know that you matter.”
Despite the fact that Cara had been the one to reach out to place her hand over his,…. When that gesture was reciprocated, she couldn’t keep the look of surprise from her face. Kindness and touch had long since become separate things, the former very rarely experienced. Frankly put, she was more used to monsters trying to kill her. So it took her a beat to recover, and she shook her head, “Please don’t do that. Don’t forgive me, I don’t deserve it. And what I do… I’m not the person you make me out to be, all right? I’m not good. This – all of this – is penance. It’s me trying to make up for things that I can never really make up for. So please… Save your kindness for someone else.”
Cara slowly nodded, “I understand that. Sometimes all you can do is pull back, wait to fight another day.” Admittedly, it wasn’t something she often did, preferring to risk anything and everything to get the job done, but still, she got it. Her tone then softened, “I used to matter. Years ago. I was a person – real and whole and so alive. Now I’m the job, and one that will kill me sooner rather than later, so I want to take out as many supernatural creatures as I can before I go.”
Tom shook his head. “No. Everyone deserves forgiveness, no matter what has happened. Everyone also deserves kindness. Including you, Cara. I don’t care what’s in your past. Whatever is keeping you from thinking that you don’t deserve kindness and forgiveness. Well, frankly, that can go to hell.” He looked back to Cara’s face. “So, no. I’m not going to save my kindness for someone else, because it’s meant for you right now.”
“You still do matter. I’m so sorry that you feel like you don’t. I also realize these words are coming from someone who doesn’t know you literally at all, so feel free to take them with a grain of salt.” Tom knew how undermining it felt to be told things by strangers, he dealt with it everyday in his line of work. People telling him to smile, or to be thankful that he even had a job in Atlanta. “What I do know? You save lives everyday, and that’s no small task, so thanks. For keeping people safe.”
Cisco backup 