“Um. AH. Gosh. Okay. Seriously, Lila? Now? You’re doing this now?” Tom sighs, biting his lower lip. “Geez, you’re my best friend…” his voice trails as he contemplates between the two options. “Smash.”
Tom nodded at her statement, understanding that she had a process for things, and that was okay. “Gotcha, yeah. That makes sense.” As he saw tears come to her eyes, his hand moved to cover hers, and he hoped that it was a welcome touch on her end. “Hey. It’s okay. You did what you needed to do. You saved Lilah, and you needed to save yourself. I forgive you for what you did, and frankly, I’m glad you did what you did. ‘Cause without you, I think our world would be a much worse off place,” his words caught in his own throat as his emotions came to the surface.
“I won’t stop fighting, but I’ve learned to choose my battles,” Tom stated, pulling his hand back into his lap. “For what it’s worth, you matter a whole hell of a lot. You matter so, so, so much, Cara. I’m sure you’ve been through hell with all the supernatural creatures that you’ve encountered, but you need to know that you matter.”
Despite the fact that Cara had been the one to reach out to place her hand over his,…. When that gesture was reciprocated, she couldn’t keep the look of surprise from her face. Kindness and touch had long since become separate things, the former very rarely experienced. Frankly put, she was more used to monsters trying to kill her. So it took her a beat to recover, and she shook her head, “Please don’t do that. Don’t forgive me, I don’t deserve it. And what I do… I’m not the person you make me out to be, all right? I’m not good. This – all of this – is penance. It’s me trying to make up for things that I can never really make up for. So please… Save your kindness for someone else.”
Cara slowly nodded, “I understand that. Sometimes all you can do is pull back, wait to fight another day.” Admittedly, it wasn’t something she often did, preferring to risk anything and everything to get the job done, but still, she got it. Her tone then softened, “I used to matter. Years ago. I was a person – real and whole and so alive. Now I’m the job, and one that will kill me sooner rather than later, so I want to take out as many supernatural creatures as I can before I go.”
Tom shook his head. “No. Everyone deserves forgiveness, no matter what has happened. Everyone also deserves kindness. Including you, Cara. I don’t care what’s in your past. Whatever is keeping you from thinking that you don’t deserve kindness and forgiveness. Well, frankly, that can go to hell.” He looked back to Cara’s face. “So, no. I’m not going to save my kindness for someone else, because it’s meant for you right now.”
“You still do matter. I’m so sorry that you feel like you don’t. I also realize these words are coming from someone who doesn’t know you literally at all, so feel free to take them with a grain of salt.” Tom knew how undermining it felt to be told things by strangers, he dealt with it everyday in his line of work. People telling him to smile, or to be thankful that he even had a job in Atlanta. “What I do know? You save lives everyday, and that’s no small task, so thanks. For keeping people safe.”
As her fingers felt the burned edges of her pant leg, her head snapped up at his comment. “So you’re some sort of metahuman? Do you only heal who you want to heal? Why do you feel the need to take on other people’s wounds?” Her questions were rapid fire, one after the other. She stopped at three, though there were many others she could have thrown out there. She tilted her head up too look up at the man, as mysterious as he was.
“It was just an unfortunate coincidence, us both being in the alley at the same time,” Allie spoke in an attempt to pull some of the weight off his shoulders and onto her own. “You don’t have to carry this all on your own, you know,” she kicked off her shoes before standing up and crossing to the bathroom. She couldn’t remember the last time she showered, and she was going to take full advantage of warm running water. “I’m going to shower, wash all this grit and grime off. Just…please don’t leave me,” she said, her voice wavering as she shut the door behind her.
“I don’t know what that is,” Lucan replied. “And yeah, I only heal who I want to heal.” It was, of course, more complicated than that. When his ability first emerged as a teenager, he rarely used it; he couldn’t heal his dad, so he didn’t see the point of it. Then he sold his power off to the Brotherhood for a while, and now he was using it on other mutants who were hurt while in hiding. “…It’s practical. Other people are hurt, I can take their wounds and I heal a lot faster. No residual pain or damage for anyone involved, and less supplies are used.”
Lucan didn’t see it as an unfortunate coincidence that she was hurt. He weighed the risks, he made a choice, and she was burned as a result of that. It was his responsibility to fix it. But he didn’t say any of that, instead watching as she took off her shoes before walking across the tiny motel room. He nodded when she was said she was going to shower, his eyebrows raising at her request. Definitely not one he was used to getting. Quite the opposite, actually; people rarely preferred to be in his company. So when he nodded again his movements were less fluid, more confused, but he stayed put nonetheless.
As she stood in the scalding stream, her achy muscles practically melted. Allie let the water beat on her face, washing the dirt from her face. She allowed herself take a few minutes longer than one might usually take in the shower, and once she was done, she wrapped her hair in a towel before pulling her clothes back on. They were all she had, after all.
Stepping back into the motel room, a small smile came to her face as she saw Lucan still there. He stayed. “Thank you. For saving me, bringing me here, staying. Not many people choose to stay around me, even for a few minutes. It seems like loneliness follows me wherever I go.” Allie took a seat on the edge of the bed, her hand moving to itch her shoulder. The dirty clothes against her clean skin were beginning to irritate her. “Anyways, thanks. You don’t have to stick around if you don’t want. I can be out before check out in the morning.”
Cisco backup 