My head is still throbbing from Eobard Thawne’s unexpected (read: totally unwelcomed) visit and my subsequent tango with death. I’m pretty sure the violent tremors in my brain would have registered a solid eleven on the Richter scale! True, I’ll never know the pain of childbirth, but I am pretty sure the excruciating migraine and full-body convulsions of a timeline rupture qualify as a top contender for most crippling pain known to human (and meta) kind. Not to be dramatic, but I saw the light; it kinda looked like the luminescent undercarriage of the USS Enterprise – and I remember praying, “just beam me up, Scotty,” when all of a sudden everything stopped – the visions of other timelines, the flashes of the future, the seizures… I was left with a searing headache and a heart full of gratitude. Barry, aka The Best Best Friend Ever, sacrificed revenge on his mother’s murderer just to save me – if that isn’t brotherhood, I don’t know what is!
Caitlin was kind enough to whip up a custom drug cocktail for my bruised brain, which allowed me enough relief to veg out in front of a Firefly marathon for an afternoon. Sure, I’ve seen the entire series at least half a dozen times, but this time, something really resonated with me. Step aside, River Tam, there’s a new psychic in town! Now that my body wasn’t being ripped apart by time, I had a moment to reflect on my newfound ability to freakin’ see the future! I know, I know – with great power comes great responsibility and all that jazz, but I had to take it for a test drive!
I waited until everyone peaced out for the day, then I slipped into S.T.A.R. Labs to “borrow” my vibing goggles. Two shots of liquid courage later (relax, it was orange soda), I threw them on and found myself watching an onslaught of peeks into 2017, 2018, and beyond. Snapshots of Fourth of July BBQ’s, Halloween (that fully-functional Batman suit was badass!), and late nights in my workshop flashed before my eyes. I was starting to feel a bit queasy (these things should really come with a motion sickness warning) when everything slowed down and I found myself standing in a church. To my left was Barry – looking hella sharp in a Hugo Boss tuxedo. Future-Me had a slick goatee and was sporting some serious bling – like a pair of solid gold Louis Vuitton cufflinks. Shiny. Joe was also there, holding a bible… that’s when I realized, this was a wedding! Not just any wedding, this was my wedding! I looked closer – Future-Me was sweating something fierce. Then the music started. I heard the rustle of a satin dress and was itching to know who my lucky lady was – but I saw the look of complete and utter love on Future-Me’s face and ripped those goggles off before I could see who she was. Some things are better left as surprises! But it is good to know that years down the road I’ll have true love, rock-solid friendships, and pimpin’ style.
